Repost from Jazz Runner
So, you are a non-runner and are about to get married to a runner. Here’s a few pre-nuptial words of wisdom:
- Don’t expect him to be beside you in bed the moment you wake up in the morning. The early morning run is part of his ritual. You have to brush your hair and apply some make-up before going to work or the results are unpleasant. Same with a runner.
- He may be in a bad mood, grouchy or irritable when he heads out the door for a run. However, expect him to be sober or most likely happy and refreshed after he comes back. You may find yourself wishing that your spouse would go out on a run every time he feels grouchy.
- Runners are mostly collectors of running mementos. Expect her to accumulate race singlets and T-shirts than she’ll ever need and purchase new pairs of running shoes without discarding her old ones. However, if you donate these items to charity or give them away to your relatives without asking permission, there will be trouble!
- There will be pay-days when your spouse goes home and hands you his salary envelope and you notice the money short on what he usually hands you. This may be because he has paid some registration fees to enter some races or worst, he has purchased another pair of new running shoes! Expect the usual excuses, “at least i didn’t spend it for a GRO’s drinks or going on a night-out with friends.”
- If you’re attending a social function made up of runners, take a good book with you or bring your cellfone with built-in games to play with or seek out others who are non-runners like you.
- I hope you like pasta.
- Even though your spouse can run a sub-Piolo (47 mins) 10k, race day is at least 4 hours long. Expect on arriving 1 hour before the start, allow an hour for the race itself and 2 more hours for post race activities. Two hours? Yes, because you line up for the race freebies, you line up half-kilometer for a half-slice of Nature Valley bar, another half-kilometer for your picture to be taken by the official photographer and the endless picture taking with your running buddies, running team, with the Emcees, with the Showbiz people and additional photos for wacky poses! When running spouse finally decides to leave and invites you over at McDonald’s for breakfast, expect to find many more of his running friends inside and add an additional hour of stay there.
- If you’re used to hearing mass in the morning of a Sunday and expect him to be home on time from the races so you can hear mass together, forget it for reasons #7. Just schedule all activities in the afternoon.
- If you have spare time, enroll in a 2-week REFLEXOLOGY class as there will be times when spouse will ask you to knead and massage his aching muscles and sore heels. You will be able to save money from his regular massage at the Spa and you will be in his good graces forever!
- Never, ever say the word “Quit”, “that’s enough, we can take a cab” or “just walk if you can’t run anymore” during a race, specially in a 5k or 10k race. Be warned that runners do not take kindly to coaching tips or advices from non-running spouses specially on short distance races. The more you tell him to walk, the more he’ll run, no matter what.
- It’s inevitable that your spouse will encourage you to take up running. Eventually, you might even surpass his PRs in all distances, from the 5k to the 100 miler BDM. Don’t hold back thinking that you might hurt his ego. On the contrary, he’s going to be very proud of you.