There are significant thoughts running through my head . It’s been almost a week and yet no matter what I try, it seems as if the earth just wouldn’t cooperate. It has been almost a week since I’ve been on midnight shift at work and it certainly isn’t easy for me especially knowing I struggled on fixing my body clock and then because of work schedule I’ve got to adjust all over again.I have been like a child who needed guidance from her mother, whining over not having a good walk or jog, looking through my organizer, reading through random articles on how to gain my endurance and because I couldn’t take the stress anymore, I finally took myself out for a mile jog and almost a mile fast walk on my way home.As much as I have been trying to restrict myself from too much sodium, having to congratulate myself on not having my good ol’ pal frappe, espresso cups and trying to be more in charge over my cravings; somehow I still couldn’t fully understand why I’m gaining control over these and yet I couldn’t seem to perfect what I’ve got to do.
Sure, I fulfill on having to do my check list and I do get to accomplish them but the mere fact that towards the later there seemed to be few boo’ boo’s of incompetency, it sucks on being a obsessive cumpulsive yet not having to accomplish them 500%.
There really is something about having to complete 8 hours of sleep. Presence of mind is being compromised; my idleness a couple of months back affected my being attentive to details. Hopefully during my last dawn shift schedule, I’d be able to perfect things the way it should be and have myself grant less hassles.
I’m not really stressed towards work but the mere fact that I’m very much impatient on things stresses myself. I want perfection and settle not for anything less. I realized while I was out during my jog/walk that as much as I try to humble myself, I’ve got to learn from my experience, charges and what I practice can teach me the essentials in order to succeed.
Perhaps I’m just not used on not knowing what to do or not having to do exactly what is supposed. I’ll take everything one day at a time, breath through every second. I will get to the position I’d want to be in 10 years time, just as long as I have my goal in mind and give my entire focus everyday, I will make it and certainly will be what I distinct fully want myself to be.
Thank heavens I was able to get through my routine, if not, I would’ve gone through another night of depression. I’m definitely looking forward for my day off, get to train myself again for a 5k run, have a normal day schedule and get to spend my social life back.